Saturday, 29 March 2008
Friday, 28 March 2008
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
Gene Hunt has been ruined. Yet again TV producers have misjudged the reason why this character was such a hit with women in the Life On Mars series which is very annoying as it was because of his female fan base that Gene was brought back to our screens.
In LoM the DCI was hard hitting, tough talking and took no prisoners. He was also devastatingly handsome and often funny. In this new programme he spends more time mooning around after the new female character than he does being a warrior.
We (I) don't actually want to see the nauseating spectacle of a good man turned into a sap by lurve - and we especially don't want to see it when his lurve dresses like an adolescent street walker who cries in every damn episode.
And no, it's not sour grapes
Monday, 24 March 2008
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
Tags: water meters
This website is a fascinating piece of social history, albeit Yankee social history. Look up your own name to see when it was most popular in the US, and where it's placed now. 'Jane' has never been really up there with the top names, but at least it's done better than my grandson Felix whose name is currently 1000th on the popularity list.
Tags: Baby names
Monday, 17 March 2008
Lilpooh, a regular poster to the GPN message board and a sometime reader of this blog, today sent me this email. Personally if she ends up with 3 suites of leather furniture I think she should donate one to me. I'll pay carriage <g>
Saturday, 15 March 2008
A regular poster on the General Politics News board has written several times complaining that his aged mother has had to pay £800 for treatment to prevent an eye going blind. This prompted me to look at NICE, the agency which evaluates medical treatments and decides whether the NHS should pay for them or not. Below is the outcome of my reading.
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
Some time ago I mentioned my son in law. (Cold morning )My daughter has just emailed to tell me that he has parked his car on an unexploded WW2 bomb. He had emailed her to ask her to collect him from work later this evening as he cannot move his car until the Bomb Squad have done their thing, and his email - and this is to his wife remember - ends 'Kind Regards'.
Now I've emailed her and told her to ask him to wait by his car. Am I too hard on the boy d'you think??
Tuesday, 11 March 2008
When my husband is away from home the joy of taking the dog for her early morning lavatorial traipse falls to me. In line with Sod's Law, I usually get dull dank mornings where I have to trudge through endless tractor mud, or freezing mornings when the only sounds from birds are of them shivering before clunking dead into the icy ditches.
This morning however, voila, spring's sprung in no uncertain manner.
Coming back from the gallop:
This is my parish church of St Andrew. It's stood here for 800 years and always makes me think of Philip Larkin's lines from Church Going:
And a tense, musty, unignorable silence
Brewed God knows how long.
Several of the gravestones mention my house by name which makes me feel, altho an incomer here, that I'm in some small way a part of this hamlet.
The Roman Catholic Church has laid down 7 new carnal sins: genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, causing social injustice, causing poverty, polluting the environment, taking drugs, and becoming too rich. An unconfessed unabsolved carnal sin means that on death you go straight to hell.
Now, I'm not sure that the Vatican, which refuses to consider the role of contraception in raising living standards and improving health care and preventing infant death and HIV/AIDS, should be railing against poverty and social injustice and expect to be taken seriously and their listing of obscene wealth as a carnal sin can surely only raise derisive eyebrows every time a richly robed Catholic priest preaches on the Sermon on the Mount in St Peter's Square.
Mind, it's got me worried that every time I start the car or pop a paracetamol or open another plastic milk container God is taking notes and making black marks in his Big Bad Book.
My only comfort is that I've never tithed the starving or burnt anyone to death for disagreeing with me and I've neither sexually abused a little child nor protected anyone who has. If I ever do any of those things tho I'll be sure to pop along to confession.
But what about shouting Jesus ?
Monday, 10 March 2008
LINCOLNSHIRE EARTHQUAKE APPEAL PLEASE GIVE GENEROUSLY
A major earthquake measuring 5.3 on the Richter scale hit Lincolnshire in the early hours of 27th February 2008. Its epicentre was in the Market Rasen area.
Victims were seen meandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".
The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of historic tractors were damaged beyond repair and all three of the County's compoooooters went down.
Three areas of historic scare crows were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their press gang Transit mini buses arrived.
Lincs FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Lincolnshire.
One strange effect of the earthquake was to startle thousands of toads into action - but most residents returned to their homes within minutes
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes come running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Jeremy Kyle later in the morning."
Another resident said, 'I was in bed with my five daughters and their grandmother, as usual, and on feeling the vibrations I nudged my mum in the back and said 'Has that disturbed the ducks, Duck?'
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Wellington Boots & Barbour jackets
Rockport boots and any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms and their giros.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked, "Scunthorpe" said the girl, wossit gotta do wiv you?"
Please don't forward this to anyone living in Spalding/Boston area - oh, sod it... they won't be able to read it anyway
Friday, 7 March 2008
Connie, aka Constance - the child who when asked by her nursery class teacher which name she would prefer to be called by answered 'banana' - is now 6 and in Year 1 at primary school. It was Parents' Evening earlier this week and her mother asked Connie if there was anything she would like her Mum to say to her class teacher, or any question she would like her mum to ask.
Connie thought it over for a while and then said .....................
Yes Mum, please can you ask her how do mermaids wee?
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
A follow up to my previous entries on Rowan Williams' idiotic remarks about Sharia coming to Britain from women who know what they're talking about at first hand - women who once were Muslim but who now live in fear of fatwah for having renounced Islam.
The Council of ex-Muslims of Britain condemns the comments made by the Archbishop of Canterbury suggesting that Sharia law is 'inevitable' and may be welcome in civil cases.
The distinction that he makes between civil and criminal cases does not exist within Sharia law. Sharia law encompasses all aspects of the life of those deemed Muslim. Suggesting that the UK would not, of course, allow the more barbaric aspects of Sharia law, such as amputation or stoning, ignores the fact that it is the family/civil areas of law in the Sharia that are some of the most iniquitous.
In the discriminatory personal family law, particularly in the areas of marriage, divorce, child custody, inheritance and so on, a Muslim woman cannot even contract her own marriage; the marriage contract is between her guardian and husband. A man can have 4 wives whilst a woman cannot. A man can divorce his wife without reasons by simply saying 'divorce' thrice, albeit with a gap in time, whereas a woman must give reasons, some of which are extremely difficult to prove. A woman only receives half that of a man under inheritance rules, and so on.
Clearly, Sharia law contravenes fundamental human rights, such as equal rights for women, and relegates those deemed to be ‘Muslim' to culturally relative rights and at the mercy of regressive imams and kangaroo courts.
In order to safeguard the rights and freedoms of all those living in Britain, there must be one secular law for all and no Sharia.
Monday, 3 March 2008
Sunday, 2 March 2008
I tootled off to get my new car this morning, a bit anxious about a scratch I'd not mentioned when talking trade-in turkey at the dealership, and even more anxious about a weird warning light that hadn't flashed before - or at least that's my story and I intended sticking to it.
When it came to it, even tho when I bought the new car and sorted the trade-in I'd gone in another car, so they bought the old one unseen, the saleman never even looked at it. Didn't even go outside to make sure it was there. Still, no skin off my nose, so off I drove in my new little pap pap to Sainsers to fill up. Paid, got in brand new 12 miles on the clock car and...................... the bugger wouldn't start.
Irate phone call to salesman consisting primarily of me holding my mob near the engine and turning the key and shouting 'did you hear that?, no, you fekin didn't because it won't fekin start'. 10 minutes later I came out of Sainsers and there he stood, looking suitably shamefaced clutching a new battery. I put on my snottiest tone and told him saying sorry doesn't cut any ice - I expect at least GOOD bouquet in apology and not something from the Sainsers forecourt!
Anyway, all's well that ends, and now it's standing outside looking for all the world like a lump of queasy yellow custard. :O)
Saturday, 1 March 2008
OMG, at last I can see where I've been going wrong with my dieting. I've just read an article on aol's welcome page - understanding the technical parts of the article were a bit of a struggle, my name not being on everyone's lips where clinical nutritionists foregather, but I've managed to glean the basic essentials. It's going to come as a shock to you but brave up now as I share these diet secrets with you.....
Things which might make you fat:
3. Processed food with a high sugar content
You know, I'm really not sure I believe this. What the fek do skinny people eat then???