Friday 4 April 2008

Off colour

I've been feeling a bit poorly lately, the sort of poorliness that can only be described as 'a bit poorly'.  I've nothing to show for it, no headache, no womit, no squits, just a bit of shakiness and a generalised feeling that I'm a bit poorly.  I'm all 'Pathos-R-I'.
The trouble with being a bit poorly is that it resembles nothing so much as an excuse for doing sfa but sit on the sofa palely shaking while someone else does the graft.  So I feel an idle sham, but an idle sham who feels a bit poorly, so now I'm a bit poorly and slightly resentful.  It's not a good look, but it does go with the lank hair and unmadeup fizzog. 
 
I know it sounds masochistic but just once I'd quite like a broken limb.  Something I could thrust into people's faces and elicit instant sympathy 'Look John Look.  Look at Jane.  Jane really is a bit poorly'. 
I'd like the sort of poorliness that makes people in the street ask if I'm feeling okay, would I like a chair, shall they call me a taxi (or tacsi for Welsh speakers).  Mind, given my age that's bound to happen within the next fortnight.  Osteoporosis isn't warded off by Clairol.
 
 
 

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jane i'd have prefered i'd broken my collar bone rather than just give it a good bashing and knocking about as the physio put it...I feel like a bit of a sham because nowt is visible and am sure plenty think am putting it on...Anyways men can always find a reason to feel poorly and make out like they are at deaths door...Tell him you have man flu <g>

Anonymous said...

i break bones for free - want a house call?

or get a walking stick............when I have to use one as I do sometimes it makes all the difference.

Anonymous said...

I know the feeling - there's something a bit heroic about being visibly injured; arm in plaster, that sort of thing.  We live with `my cold'.  When I tell him that it's catarrh, he doesn't seem to hear.
Bunny.

Anonymous said...

Awwww you poor mite! xxx Will that do?