What useful purpose does it serve when a mature, balanced, socially well-adjusted and normally functioning adult comes out about having been sexually abused as a child?
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3 comments:
Do you mean the programme One life ?Ifelt for the poor Mother what could she do about it now,except try to come to terms with her,surprise, shock ,guilt ,horror and concience......Jan xx
Whom are you refering, if I may ask??
I wasn't referring to any particular individual Mark but to the trend for people of mature years to suddenly want to tell all about abuse which happened to them donkey's years before and which for the whole of their lives following the abuse appears to have had very little or no long term deleterious effect upon the course of their lives.
My own view is that if something bad happened say 40 years ago then nothing is served by suddenly revealing the details and a lot may be lost. Consider how an adult child might feel if their mum or dad were, out of the blue, to tell them all about their childhood experience of sexual abuse. They would find themselves reinterpreting their own upbringing and their relationship with their parent in light of that recent information. That might be okay, but it could be disastrous to their future relationship.
Let me give a simple example of the way this can happen. A child is very very naughty and is perhaps sent early to bed as punishment. The next day the child discovers that dad had been to the pub before the incident, or that he had had a near miss accident in the car, or that he'd had a migraine developing. The child reinterprets the parent's reaction to his behaviour in light of that new knowledge and is likely to infer that actually the problem lay with dad and not with his own behaviour.
In addition, although thinking through what happened, and perhaps talking to one trusted confidante may have some therapeutic value for the abused adult, talking openly about it to all and sundry not only does them no good for hearing it, but imo it is highly unlikely to improve future relations between the teller and the audience because to those who've heard the dreadful details, the person will forever after be 'that poor man who was sexually abused as a boy' - not a good way to be thought of I think.
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